Core Values

If I asked you, “What are your core values?” would you know how to answer that question truly?

Because, what are core values anyway?

We hear a lot about them. We’re encouraged to define them, write them down, choose words that represent who we are.

And yet, for many people, they remain exactly that. Words. Ideas. Concepts that sound good — but don’t always translate into how we actually live.

What values really are

Core values are not something that we need to hold ourselves to. Our core values are not just what we say they are.

They are what we live. They show up in our choices, in our reactions, in the way we move through our lives. Not only when it’s easy, but also when it isn’t.

Our core values reflect what we hold most sacred in the very core of our being.

They are what we use to point us towards our True North.

What we want and what is true (Desire vs. Truth)

There is still often confusion between what we want and what is true for us.

What we want can feel urgent. It can be driven by desire, habit, or conditioning. It comes with a sense of: “I need this now” or “This will make me feel better”.

What is true feels different.

It is quieter, more grounded. It doesn’t rush us, it doesn‘t try to convince us. It just feels right in the deepest layer of us.

Even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if it asks something of us.

How values feel in the body

When something aligns with your values, there is a sense of coherence. Like a clean tone that rings true.

The body softens. There is clarity and a steadiness in your foundation. Not excitement, not urgency. A quiet knowing.

When something doesn’t align, there is often tension. A discomfort, something unsettled that tells us that something is off, even if everything looks fine.

Why we lose connection to them

Most of us have learned, at some point, to override what we know.

To prioritise what is expected, what feels safe, what keeps things smooth and allows us to avoid conflict. That old story.

Over time, this creates distance, not because our values disappear, but because we stop listening to them.

The more we override them, the harder they can feel to access.

Values are lived, not chosen

We don’t need to sit down and decide our values. We can discover them by paying attention.

Notice:

• when you feel most like yourself

• when something feels quietly right

• when you act in a way that leaves you feeling clear, even if it was difficult

These moments show you your values far more honestly than any list ever could.

If this feels unclear

If reading this feels confusing, you’re not alone.

Many people feel disconnected from themselves in a way that makes this difficult to access at first.

So let’s make it simpler.

A core value is something that matters to you on a deeper level. Not because you were taught it, but because something in you recognises it.

Core values is not something we have learned. It is a deeper sense of who we are and what is innately essential to us.

It’s what makes us feel:

• uncomfortable when we go against it

• clear when we act in alignment with it

For example:

If you value freedom, you might notice that when you feel restricted or controlled, something in you resists or wants to fight back.

If you value connection, you may feel it when interactions feel distant, surface-level or closed.

If you value growth, you might feel stuck or restless when nothing is changing.

You don’t need to define all of them at once. Begin by noticing what feels right and what doesn’t.

Universal and personal values

Some values are universal. Values like honesty, respect, integrity, kindness.

When we act in alignment with them and are met with these values in our interactions with others, there is a natural sense of rightness, all is as it should be.

When these values are compromised, we ALL feel it. That dishonouring is almost impossible to ignore.

These are examples of values that don’t really change because they are a universal truth for all of us as human beings.

Then there are values that are more personal. Values that change depending on the phase of life we are in.

At one point, we might hold freedom, exploration, independence as our most sacred values.

At another time, they could be stability, connection, family.

Creativity, expression, beauty.

These are not fixed. They move and evolve as we do.

The confusion comes when we try to decide what our values should be instead of noticing what already feels true for us, or what we may already be living.

A simple way to recognise them

If you’re unsure what your values are, start here:

Notice what feels quietly important to you. Not what you think should matter and certainly not what looks good on paper.

But what actually moves something in you.

What feels:

• grounding

• clear

• quietly right

• still

• spacious

Even if it’s hard to explain or it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.

Bringing it into your life

Living your values doesn’t require a complete turnaround. It is always about those small moments and choices that no-one sees.

Where only you know you could go one way, or another. Something in you always knows which one is true.

To live your values is simply to follow that. Again and again.

Take a moment with these questions:

• When do I feel most aligned with myself?

• What choices have I made that felt quietly right, even if they were difficult?

• Where in my life do I feel a subtle sense that something is off?

• What am I currently choosing that doesn’t feel true?

Your values are not something you need to create. They are already there.

The question is not what they are.

The question is whether you are willing to live them.